If you're still unsure what I mean, try this:

I hear what you're saying but, with all due respect, it's not exactly rocket science. Basically, at the end of the day, the fact of the matter is you have got to be able to tick all the boxes. It's not the end of the world, but, to be perfectly honest with you, when push comes to shove, you don't want to be literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. Going forward we need to be singing from the same songsheet but you can't see the wood from the trees. Naturally hindsight is 20/20 vision and you have to take the rough with the smooth before proceeding onwards and upwards. The bottom line is you wear your heart on your sleeve and, when all is said and done, this is all part and parcel of the ongoing bigger picture. C'est la vie (if you know what I mean).

That's an entry by Mr. Nick Godfrey for a contest the U.K. Telegraph held called the "Infuriating Phrases Competition," for which "the idea was to come up with a paragraph or two, no longer than 150 words, packed with as many infuriating words and phrases as possible."

That reminds me of an episode of COPS I saw years ago in which an officer described being shot as "feeling exactly like getting hit in the chest with a sledge hammer," as if he knew exactly how getting hit in chest with a sledge hammer felt. We say these things, either because we're trying to make a clear point -- getting shot hurts really bad -- or because we aren't thinking. We're just talking.

Some of the cliches I hear come in waves. I'd never heard the phrase "Drinking their own kool-aid," or any other reference to that sugary beverage until I read Paul Stockford's April column about words and phrases that ought to banished from call centers. Now I hear it everywhere.

Some cliches are inevitable. I feel some comfort in the fact that call center technology vendors provide solutions. I still, after covering the industry for nearly two years, cannot tell the difference between a product, a solution and a service, but I always know it's out there.

And I know that if a company has a two-word name, they will squish it together, LikeThis. I can rely on these things. They are much more predictable than the weather.

But that doesn't mean they're good. If you want to stand out as a company, don't smoosh your name into one word with intercaps, and don't offer "solutions." Concentrate on clarity and competence, and then work on excellence. Never mind the euphemisms and fancy phrasings.

If you're a call center agent (a customer care solutions representative) or anyone who works with people, think before you speak. Clarity will win trust and impress clients and co-workers. Using your own words will convey sincerity and knowledge.

By the way -- think we have it bad? Try reading a wine review.